The Sounds of Silence
by MyJediLife
Summary: A car accident robbed ex-Marine turned Librarian Ben Solo of his hearing... and after meeting Rey Sands, the only thing he wants to do is hear her voice.
1. Chapter 1

The girl came into the library every day at the same time – and it was Ben's favorite part of the day. She would come in and head to the computers, her eyes drifting back to where he sat at his desk, a small smile on her face as she waved at him. Ben would smile and nod back, not quite sure how he was lucky enough to catch her attention for those few brief seconds a day.

But he wasn't going to complain at all.

Ben glanced at the clock on his computer – she was due in any moment now. He couldn't hear the door to the library open, but he noticed the slight change in light and shadows in the room as the door was opened and closed, and he brought his eyes up hopefully, the smile he reserved only for her coming to his lips as he saw her making her way past the counter – her typical wave to him answered with his typical nod.

Ben had been to many places in his thirty years of life. He had been to Korea, Japan and the Middle East with the military, and he had yet to see a woman as exquisite or as beautiful as this woman that graced him with her presence every day – minus Sundays. If he could find the funding to open the library on Sundays just so he could see her, he would.

Ben knew what she liked to read, of course. She would be on the computer for an hour, then she would wander through the stacks of historical fiction and travel books, making her selections after minutes of careful consideration. He tried not to stare as she brought the books to be checked out by one of the other librarians, but Ben could feel her eyes on him, as well.

Maybe one day he would actually try to have some sort of communication with her. Her view of him may change once she found out he was hearing impaired and had to read lips to talk to people, and that he much preferred using sign language and written communication instead of trying to speak.

He hadn't always been deaf, but after a car accident four years ago – a night he still tried desperately to forget – he had woken up three weeks later, sore and unable to hear. He had been a month away from his Master's degree in Library Science, and it had taken him an extra six months to finish his degree, all the while learning how to communicate again in a world that was now silent to him.

….

Rey had never thought she would develop a crush on a librarian. But she'd be damned if she would miss an opportunity to go the library every day to use the internet – even though she had internet at home. No, she definitely stopped in every day just so she could lay eyes upon one Ben Solo, Director of Library Services – at least that is what the plastic nameplate on the side of his office door read.

Surely, a man that attractive was married, right? Or at least had a girlfriend, and Rey shouldn't be thinking about him nearly every moment of every day. Right? She was an idiot, and Finn and Rose were so right to tease her as mercilessly as they did about it.

Today she might remember to breathe when he looked at her and smiled. Maybe. So far, she hadn't been able to.

She stepped into the library, and as she walked past the counter, her eyes went to him immediately, her hand coming up in her typical wave, the smile on her face that she reserved for only him. He gave her a smile back, his chocolate brown eyes shining at her in a way that made her insides melt into senseless goo, her breath hitching in her chest.

He looked like a Greek God in human form, and she itched to run her hands through that perfect mane of raven hair while she kissed those amazingly full lips. She had dreamt about what it would feel like – but Rey was nothing if not realistic.

He had to be married, because single men as insanely good looking as Ben Solo simply didn't exist.

Rey made her way to the bank of computers, sitting down in her typical spot and trying not to cast sideways glances at Ben. She chose this particular computer for a good reason – it gave her the perfect view of him as he used the single finger method to tap away at his laptop keyboard. He had _huge_ hands, and – she noted with some glee as she finally remember to look – no wedding rings. Of course, that meant nothing. Men sometimes didn't wear wedding rings, and just because he wasn't married didn't mean he wasn't single.

A sign hanging from the circulation desk caught her attention, and her hands stopped typing for a moment, her breath once more hitching in her chest. _Help Wanted. See attendant for application if interested._

Was she interested in working with Ben Solo every day? Yes, yes, she was, and Rey found herself getting up from the computer, practically floating to the desk. She already had a job at night bartending, and a full course load in college – but another job wouldn't hurt – right? Especially if it meant she could look at Ben more.

Because, well, he was gorgeous. And she wanted to find an excuse to look at him more.

She was pathetic.

"Hi," Rey said lightly, trying to focus on the elderly woman who was looking at her expectantly, her thick glasses making her eyes seem three times the size they really were. Rey found her eyes travelling to Ben, though, and she was startled to find him looking at her. Her face colored slightly, and she looked back at the librarian, finally managing to find the words she had lost when she realized Ben was looking at her. "I… I'd like to apply for the open position you have?"

With a sweet, almost _knowing_ smile, the woman reached below the desk, withdrawing a single sheet of paper before sliding it across the wooden desk to her. Leaning forward, she whispered softly, "He's single, Miss Sands. I see the way you look at Mr. Solo. I looked at my Jerry the same way before we first met." Reaching out with a wrinkled hand, the woman patted Rey's hands softly. "Bring the application back when you are finished, and I will make sure it gets to Mr. Solo."

_Well, shit. Even an 80 year old woman can tell I like him. I'm so screwed._

Rey's eyes went to Ben again, who was still staring at her intently. Offering him an almost shy smile, Rey tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and took the application, muttering "Thanks, I will," to the librarian before she went back to her original seat in front of the computer.

….

Ben watched as Rey came to the desk, his heart beating a little bit faster as he read her lips. Having her working alongside him every day was definitely a pleasing thought, and Ben hoped that Maz wasn't giving her a hard time as she slid the application across the desk to Rey. Maz had a way of imparting her wisdom on people – and sometimes it was in an odd way that made them feel like she could read their minds. It also didn't help that Maz fancied herself a matchmaker, and she had made many comments regarding Ben asking Rey out at some point.

Watching as Rey made her way back to the computer, Ben shook his head softly as Maz turned to look at him, a knowing look on her face. What had she said? By the blush on Rey's face, it probably was nothing good. The old woman came to his door, signing softly to him.

_If you don't hire her, Solo, I am quitting. This is your chance. Besides, she likes you as much as you like her. Trust me, I know things._

With a slight smile on his face, Ben just shook his head before signing back to her. _Knock it off, Maz. I can only hire her if she is qualified and can pass a background check. You know that._

Maz leaned closer to Ben, now speaking normally to him. "She can read, and I am betting she knows how to alphabetize, as well. You're hiring her so I can have an extra day off a week. Don't let an old woman down, Solo." Turning, Maz left his office, and Ben shook his head once more, chuckling softly.

….

It only took Rey fifteen minutes to fill out the application. It wasn't terrible, and she felt that the fact she was going to college to become a Historian had some appeal to a librarian for an assistant position. She hoped so, because she wanted the chance to get to know the library director on a personal level.

_You are a pathetic creature, Rey Sands. Absolutely pathetic. You should go back to the UK and forget about the tall, handsome American librarian who probably won't give you two seconds of his time. Why the hell would he want you when no one else ever has?_

Moving back to the counter, Rey smiled at Maz, surprised that the woman moved as swiftly as she did for someone so aged. Grabbing the application almost gleefully from Rey, Maz looked it over before peering up at Rey, her voice amused as she asked, "We know you can read, can you put things in alphabetical order as well?"

Rey raised a brow questioningly, answering Maz with a quiet, "Yes? I am a college senior. It's a requirement to get as far in my studies as I have."

Maz snorted in amusement, holding one finger up to Rey and winking. "One moment, dear. I do believe you can start tomorrow. Let me get Mr. Solo's approval." Leaning closer to Rey, Maz said, "I have my ways, my dear. I predict you will both be working rather… lengthy… hours together."Maz gave her another wink before shuffling back to Ben's office.

The device in Ben's pocket vibrated, and his eyes came off the proposal he had been writing to meet Maz's ancient eyes, a smile on the woman's face as she waved a sheet of paper at him enthusiastically.

"I've just hired our new library assistant, Mr. Solo. I told her she can start tomorrow."

With a sigh and a shake of his head, Ben ran his hand through his hair. Maz always got her way.

_You are unstoppable, you know that? Fine. But if her background check comes back bad, I'll have to just fire her. Understood? _Ben signed to her quickly.

Maz nodded, a smirk on her face as she said, "It won't, and I'll be attending your wedding in a few years. You'll thank me later."

….

What kind of clothes do you wear when you want to look professional, but also want to make your new boss fall madly in love with you? Somehow, Rey didn't think jeans and a Lake Tahoe tee would work.

"Rose? Code Fuschia in my room… STAT!" Rey called out, her voice showing the burgeoning panic she felt setting in. As her best female friend flounced into the room, Rey looked at her, desperation apparent in the look she gave her.

"What the hell do I wear? Nothing is right… I want something that says 'I am here to work' but also screams 'I want you to bend me over your desk'" Rey complained, her fingers plucking a skirt out of her closet before she examined it briefly, tossing it aside on the rapidly growing pile of discarded clothes on her bed.

"First of all," Rose threw one finger in the air to halt Rey's panicked ramblings. "What the hell is a code fuschia? Is that a British thing? Secondly, wear the green top that shows off your tits, and the simple black skirt with a pair of flats. It says, 'Hi, I'm Rey, Library Assistant', but it will also make his mouth water at the thought of motorboating you."

Rey looked at Rose for a moment, confusion evident in her features. "What is motorboating, exactly?" Somehow, the term brought thoughts of her and Ben on a boat alone under a full moon to mind. It wasn't unpleasant, of course – but why would a shirt make him think of such things?

Rose let out a giggle and said, "Google it. Trust me – that's the outfit you want to wear, Rey."

With a sigh and a shake of her head, Rey watched as Rose let her alone with her thoughts once more, and she went to the closet, pulling out the outfit Rose had suggested. As she looked herself over in the mirror after dressing, she had to admit – she looked pretty good. The color of her shirt pulled out the green in her eyes, and as she pulled her hair back into a simple bun, letting a few tendrils fall on her face, Rey thought she might be able to catch Ben's attention.

Maybe.

….

As Rey stood outside the library at ten minutes until eight, sipping on her Hazelnut Mocha Latte, she wondered if she was insane for attempting to work two jobs as well as her course load in college. Was it worth it just to try and get the attention of a gorgeous, aloof man?

As she watched Ben Solo walk down the street towards her, Rey decided that it was definitely worth it.

Ben saw Rey waiting outside the library, and his heart almost stopped in his chest before remembering to beat once more – but this time beat in triple time the closer he got to her. She looked amazing, the shirt she was wearing made her eyes spark with green, and as she gave him a hesitant smile he found himself thankful that Maz had decided to show up late this morning – something he was certain she was doing on purpose.

As he reached the front of the library, Ben gave her a wave and gestured towards the door before pulling out his set of keys and unlocking the heavy wooden and glass door before pulling it open. Ben stepped to one side, gesturing for Rey to go inside before him, and as she did, she smiled at him once more, causing his heart to stutter for another moment.

Once inside, Ben let out a sigh as he realized he was alone with Rey, and she probably had no idea that he was deaf. Opening his mouth, Ben realized he hadn't actually _spoken_ to anyone in roughly three months – since the last time he had to give a proposal verbally to the Board of Directors. It always made him feel self conscious when he had to speak out loud, because even though his parents assured him that he still sounded the same, he couldn't hear himself. He would rather sign or text – it was just simpler.

Running a hand through his hair, Ben adjusted his glasses before looking at Rey and heading up the small flight of stairs to the main library room. As she followed, Ben gestured behind the large checkout counter before he finally spoke.

"You can put your things behind the counter. Maz should be here any minute. She'll be the one to train you. I'm Ben, the Library Director. Welcome to the team, Rey." Ben offered her his hand, and as she slid her much smaller hand into his, Ben was pleasantly surprised as some strange, unrecognized energy flowed between them. He looked into Rey's eyes, which widened a bit in surprise as well. Ben released Rey's hand, smiling at her.

"Have a good first day, Rey," Ben said as he felt the air pressure change subtly as the door opened to admit Maz. Ben turned, winking at the older woman as she approached before heading into his office.


	2. Chapter 2

The music thudded, lights flashing in an almost nauseous pattern as Ben moved through the throngs of people in the crowded club. Before his accident, this never would have been his scene, but now that he couldn't hear music anymore – well, he could _feel_ it by coming here. With the music and the sound, he didn't have to worry about talking to anyone, which was pleasant after days spent worrying about how he could communicate effectively with the world around him.

Reaching the bar, Ben waited for one of the bartenders to come over. Refusing to shout his drink order, he simply typed a message onto his phone to show the twenty something. _Double rum and coke._ The man nodded his understanding before returning with his drink a few moments later. _Thank you_, Ben mouthed to the man before he turned and leaned back against the bar, his eyes surveying the crowd as he enjoyed his drink. The music pounded in his chest, and if Ben closed his eyes, he could imagine how it sounded.

….

The club scene was not one Rey was used to, and as she weaved her way through the throngs of undulating, drunken bodies, she wanted to turn around and go back home. Finn and Rose assured her that she needed to have some fun, so she had reluctantly agreed to go with them.

She had been up since seven that morning, and had spent her work day shelving books, all the while secretly admiring her new boss as he sat in his office. Maz had told her that he was quiet, and that all he expected from his employees was showing up to work on time and doing their jobs. She had caught him looking at her several times during the day, and as he caught her eyes a small smile had come to his lips.

He was glorious, and Rey wanted to get to know him even more now.

Making her way to the bar, Rey waved at the bartender to get his attention, ordering her favorite drink and trying to ignore the drunken college student who was leering at her and trying to catch her eye. As she waited for her drink, Rey swept her eyes across the club, wondering where Finn and Rose were amongst the throngs of people. Her eyes widened as she recognized a broad set of shoulders and a shock of soft, wavy raven hair. She had spent so much time looking at Ben Solo from afar that she could pick him out in a crowd easily.

The bartender came back with her drink, and Rey slid a ten across the bar to him before making her way down the bar, coming to a stop behind Ben. Taking a deep breath and plastering what she hoped would pass for a genuine smile on her lips, Rey reached out, tapping her boss on the shoulder with one finger.

….

If there was one thing Ben hated, it was having someone suddenly touch him without him being aware of their presence. Not only did it set off his PTSD from his military days, but being deaf meant he couldn't hear people's footsteps anymore. It was a shock to his system, and as he jumped, heart racing, he stumbled slightly, his large frame hitting a much smaller – a much _softer_ – person as he reached out to grab the bar to steady himself.

Brown eyes met Rey's hazel orbs, Ben's mouth opening in shock as he realized who he had stumbled into. Rey had been on his mind almost constantly, and the last place he ever imagined seeing her was at a club frequented by mostly obnoxious, drunk college students.

Throwing up a hand in greeting and trying to ignore her now throbbing foot from where Ben had stepped on it, Rey did her best to keep the smile in place as she leaned towards Ben, yelling over the music so he could hear her. "Hi! I honestly didn't expect to see you at a place like this!"

Ben stared at Rey intently, wondering if Maz had said anything to Rey about his impairment. As Rey leaned in to talk to him, Ben could tell from her actions that the older woman had kept this information from their new employee. Without thinking about it, his heart still racing and the blood pounding in his head, Ben threw up his hands, signing furiously at Rey.

_What the hell are you doing, sneaking up on me like that? Jesus!_

Rey just stared at Ben as his hands flew up, fingers and hands moving so quickly that she had no idea what he was doing at first, her eyes widening as she realized he was using sign language – and that he wasn't happy with her currently.

Oh.

Suddenly, everything fell into place, and Rey's face colored with embarrassment as she realized that her seriously hot, seemingly sweet new boss that she had been crushing on for weeks was deaf.

_Thanks for telling me that, Maz… _Rey thought to herself, wondering why the old woman hadn't divulged something so important to her.

…

_Fuck!_ Ben thought to himself as he brought his hands back to his sides. He was so used to signing to everyone he knew, it had become habit to him. It was obvious from Rey's expression that Maz hadn't told her, and as the reality of it dawned on her face, Ben wanted to be anywhere else but there.

Pushing himself off the bar, Ben turned, his face flush with embarrassment as he started to weave his way towards the exit of the club. He could feel his anxiety mounting with every step he took, his breath hitching in his throat as he finally found his way out an exit – an alley to the side of the club providing him the needed space he needed to breathe.

Reaching out, Ben hit the side of the brick building hard, barely feeling the skin tearing and scraping off the side of his hand. Over and over he pounded the building, letting all the frustration and rage of his current situation out – the bricks unyielding and non-judgmental under his hands.

The bricks would never judge him for being deaf, for being unable to communicate normally with the one person he desperately wanted to get to know. What was Rey thinking now? Ben could only imagine she was horrified to find that the man she had been silently flirting with for months now was a freak. He knew he was a freak, he felt it in the core of his very being. He was alone for a reason – he would always be alone. That would be his cross to bear. With one last thrust of his fist into the bricks, Ben sank to the garbage riddled concrete of the alley, his large hands cradling his head as he let a sob wrack his body.

He had never felt so alone in his life.

….

Rey watched as Ben turned, his tall frame unmistakable as he weaved his way through the crowd inside the club. Biting her bottom lip as she thought, Rey downed the contents of her glass for courage before following the same path as Ben through the crowd, her hazel eyes finally making out the exit sign she felt sure Ben had seen as well.

Did she see him any differently know that she knew – no – _suspected_ he was deaf? No. Rey still saw him as the tall, gorgeous man that she had made excuse after excuse to see almost every day of the week for months. She didn't care if he could hear her or not – in fact, Finn and Rose told her to shut up so often, it was probably a blessing Ben wouldn't be able to hear her voice.

He was amazing, and Rey wanted to get to know him.

It was simple, and it was beautiful.

Rey found Ben crumbled on the cold, dirty concrete in the alley, sobbing like his heart had been broken. "Shhh, sweetheart, shhh," Rey said as she approached, not caring that he couldn't hear her. Something told her that he needed her right now – that he needed her touch to help him over whatever mental hurdle he was attempting to jump over.

Kneeling beside him, Rey reached out, her hand resting on his arm as she watched him, his beautiful face streaked with rivers of tears. She knew what it felt like every time she locked gazes with those warm, expressive brown eyes of his – she felt like he was looking into her soul.

"Ben," Rey said, his name flowing off her lips sweetly. She tested out the sound of it again, her hand rubbing his arm softly as he continued to sob, his sinfully beautiful hair covering his anguish. "Ben Solo… I don't care. I don't care that you can't hear me. I just want to spend time with you."

Rey continued to rub his arm with one hand, her other hand moving up to trace the scar on his face, her fingers ghosting over the pink, jagged skin. It was wet from his tears, and Rey was positive that instead of distracting from his classic good looks, it only added to them. She longed desperately to ply his skin with kisses, to kiss away whatever agony it was he felt inside. He was incredible, and Rey planned on telling him so, as soon as he was well enough to hear it.

….

Suddenly, Ben could breathe again, the tears slowing as he opened his eyes, swiping his torn hands across them to clear his vision. The briefest flash of white caught his vision, and his eyes swept up to find Rey kneeling beside him, one of her hands caressing his scar, the other his arm. His breath hitching in his throat, Ben sniffled once more, his hands coming up to sign '_Thank you'_, his lips also mouthing the words at the same time.

Instead of disgust and revulsion in her gaze, Ben saw something much more welcoming. Something that made his heart stutter in his chest. He saw longing and, somehow, warmth and understanding.

….

For the first time, Rey noticed the injuries to his hands. Her eyes widened slightly as she grabbed them both, surveying the damage critically before looking at Ben, her lips meeting each palm softly as if her lips could be a healing salve for his wounds. Looking into his eyes, Rey said, "Come on, let's go get some coffee and talk. My treat."

Rey stood, offering one of her hands to Ben. There were so many pages in the book of Ben Solo, and Rey wanted to read each and every word, turning each page with wonder at everything she saw within. His hand was huge as he reached up, his long fingers tangling with hers briefly as he pulled himself off the ground, swiping at his face with his free hand to clear away the last of his tears.

….

Ben swallowed hard as Rey's lips met his palms, his heart stuttering in his chest before remembering to beat again a moment later. He wasn't used to having anyone touch him – but Rey's touch was soothing to his soul. As she looked at him, Ben nodded at her before standing, her small hand warm against his. After wiping away the last of his tears, Ben looked over at Rey, expecting her to pull her hand away from his. Instead, she smiled up at him, lacing her fingers through his and tugging gently at his arm as she pulled him down the alley and onto the sidewalk.

Ben kept his eyes on Rey so he didn't miss anything she might say, but instead of talking, she just looked at him every few seconds, her hazel eyes burning with warmth and admiration. Finally, she looked at him, her words a mad rush as they left her lips.

"I know, I mean, I am guessing you are really good at reading lips, right? You'll let me know if I am talking too fast? I'm sorry, this is new to me, Ben. I want to make sure we can communicate well."A slight tilt upwards of the corners of Ben's mouth led Rey to believe that she wasn't speaking to fast, and she squeezed his hand gently as the warm glow of the coffee shop sign came into view.

Ben gestured to her with his free hand, his words again almost too soft to be heard over the hum of the traffic as he spoke, "Your phone?" Rey graced him with one of her glorious smiles, reaching into one of her pockets and withdrawing the device, handing it to him and just watching as he input his number into her contacts, his eyes meeting hers as he handed it back to her with a smile.

Stopping outside the glass door of the coffee shop, Ben kept his hand twined with hers as he opened the door, only letting go to sweep his hand out in a grand gesture of chivalry, indicating that Rey should step inside ahead of him. He could only guess a giggle left her perfect lips as a blush came to her cheeks before she stepped inside, looking back to watch as he followed her.

At this particular moment, Ben thought to himself, he may just follow her anywhere.


End file.
